03 Mar

Epic Fail or just the begining?

Last Updated on 03 March 2009 Written by UrbanVox 2 Comments

The truth is the right now I have no idea….

I had it all programed and worked out in my mind. I wanted to be pro-active and wanted to be active instead of getting closed in between 4 walls…

I wanted the cafe to be a Hub for all sorts of people to walk in, have some coffee, to learn and to contribute, to do something new and to transform minds…

I WANT it to work like that… I don’t want to be a “church” in al senses of the word…

I want to be open to people, and not closed down in millions of little rules that limit what we can do when we are together.

I woke up so very positive… so anthused… so motivated…

And with a 2 minute call all that simply went down hill…

Don’t take me wrong, the vision is still the same… and if I have to continue without my cover (my mother per se) so be it. I am tired of hearing how things were on the past, and how we used to do things…

We are NOT who we were!

The fact is that we disagree is so many things… she wants a church, I want a hub (something not so closed) she wants to be a denomination… I want to tear apart this word and throw it to the winds! The word denomination separates people from one another… that’s how I see it… She wants a place where you sit and listen and well whatever you do inside a church building… I want aplace of learning… a place of sharing… and more than anything, a base for action.

Am I alone?????

Am I the only one that wants to have JC’s teaching as a life style and not as a bunch of rules that limit what we see and what we CAN DO???

There is no time for stoping and crying now… there is no time to feel small and alone… there is a not a lot to be said and there is a lot to be done… there is no margin for depression…

I need help but if I have to, then I’ll do it alone!!!!

YHWH… I need strenght now… more than ever…

Let it be a begining and not how I feel right now… an epic fail…

I need to get out there… The structure is there… is laid… time to do something new… Meta Noia…

I am tired, overloaded, stressed and depressed… but ready or not, here I come…