Losing friends and alienating people
Did you ever watch the movie How to Lose Friends and Alienate people? Well, I didn’t but if the title has to do anything with what the movie is about, I think they might have based the movie on me!
It wasn’t always like that tho… I used to be a people’s person. I used to have more acquaintances a than I could remember names and more friends than I could probably name.
Yes I did have a very closed circle of REAL friends, and some of them are still my friends today. Maybe not as close as they were before, but still when we speak it is as if time had not passed at all…
I think I miss having friend around me. I have somehow managed to alienate most of them for the past 2 years or so. I Haven’t spoken to some people that were like brothers or sisters to me for long long periods of time, I have shut most of them outside the loop of my life. Mind you, I have sort of alienated my brother and sister as well…
I think I’ve stopped believing in people… I actually think I’ve stopped believing in myself and as a consequence I began to think people stopped believing in me. I surprise myself every time someone comes to me for council… I surprise myself when people that are supposed to be leaders of a group of people come to me for counsel…
Last Saturday was my Birthday and it took no one showing up to the party for me to start thinking… Well not really no one… my family did go and Marcio came along too. But I had a list of about 80 people invited (Well… most I already knew they wouldn’t be able to come for one reason or other, like sime were going to be abroad on the day… ). The thing that really hit home was the fact that the people I was sure would come, didn’t come at all.
All and everyone had their reasons and I am not disputing that. I am actually not writing this post to incriminate any or them or make them guilty of anything…
This post is about me (kinda cliché uh… “It is not about you, is about me” … LOL! ).
There is a reason I feel alone most of the time… Intentionally or not, I’ve MADE MYSELF AN HERMITE!
At some point in time I cut off all relationships but my family and a few people I am still in contact with once here or there. And mind you, not even they know most of what’s going on in my life… how I feel… Hell know… God forbid they actually know some of the things that I feel… I have not come into terms with them… I won’t… I will keep on fighting.
The worst thing is that you have no idea how easy it is to drop off everyone’s radar.
I gotta change that… I used to have friends everywhere, that so far as a know considered me a good friend… Once upon a time I would die for my friends… Right now, deep inside I couldn’t care less…
And that hurts because is so unlike me. It goes against my nature…
I care… too much…
I need to get off at he next station so I’ll also end this post before I make a book out of it.
But I’ll leave a question: How on earth do I gat back to who I used to be??? Have a I forgotten who I am???
What would you do???
Zya…
Comments
One thing that I do to show people I care about friendships is by doing little things. Unexpected random acts of friendship. Start with going out for drinks. Drop off goodies you have baked on door steps. Show people you care. I know, so old fashioned, but it works. People like to know that others care about them. It’s human nature.
OHmommy’s last blog post.."…. just one more thing."
How on earth do I gat back to who I used to be??? Have a I forgotten who I am???
What would you do???
I’ve gone through periods like this a lot in my life. I continually have this realization; I finally take a good hard look around me and find myself alone. For one reason or another.
There will be people who you care about enough to bridge the gap you’ve created and share what you can. So figure out who you really don’t want to lose and make gesture, then invest some time.
Make some new friends. Sometimes, people leave our lives for a reason, and it just doesn’t make sense to chase after them. The good news is that we’re all here to teach each other something, and where one set of lessons ends, it leaves room for another to begin. So find some people you can really talk to and learn from and share with them the things that you can’t share with some of the others in your life. Because you need that, and because the people that you meet that you feel comfortable opening up to you have something to give and something to gain.
My husband has this same problem- believing in himself, and he’s experiencing a similar isolation. I don’t know how to make you believe in yourself. I don’t know when exactly I learned to start, and I’m not completely there yet. I do know this. I never realized half of what I was capable of until I could look down from the ridge I climbed and see how steep the incline was. How do you give that to someone else. All I can do is tell you what I tell him. When I think of you, I think of someone who is warm, intense, and insightful. We all go through periods when we don’t believe in anything. It’s just a part of the human condition. So now it’s time to let the sun warm your skin for awhile. Crawl out of that hermit hole, if only on a leap of faith.
xoxo
verybadcat’s last blog post..Hairy Mess
I dont think you should try and be the person you use to be. We all go through so many experiences in our lives which shape who we are today, to revernt back to who we were would be like taking those experiences away or trying to be someone your not.
I have a love hate relationship for social events like birtdays.
I find we have great expectations for these events and they never end up how we imagined them.
the main thing is your family was there. OK it wasnt the great laugh you planned it but you know what, im sure there will be plenty more times like that ahead with friends. If you try for it too hard, it will become too hard to achieve. Do small social things to start off like a coffee with a friend or a meal one evening with a couple of friends. These more personal smaller groups will bring your bonds back and build a better relationship with them rather than one HUGE event. Who knows, if you have say 20 small social events over the next year, by your next birthday you may have a few more guests
)
Its all difficult tho dont blame yourself. You have to live your life.
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How did it cost to start up this blog…I want to start my own.
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