Confessions of a SuperDad wannabe.
When I was a kid I wanted to be the coolest dad ever once I grew up.
And as I was growing up I took 200000000 notes of what I would have to do if I wanted to be Daddy Cool. I took note of my dad’s mistakes and promised I would never do the same. I promised myself that I’d always be there and that no work related issue would come before my kids. I had decided that I’d play with them as often as I could and that I was going to make sure they got plenty of attention. I had decided that I would read them bed time stories and sit with them to do homework and stuff…
Then I grew up and my inner-child hid away in shame.
I had some time to think for the past few weeks… I know I should have taken this time and done something constructive or so… but I have instead decided to do some sort of balancing on it… you know?? Like you do with your check book???
Well yeah… I am none of the things I wanted to be… Well… I am a dad.
But I don’t seem to be able to spend a long as I’d like it with my kids… Even though I am at home with them.
When TB asked me to come and play with him and I said I’d do it later because I was a little busy at the moment.
“You are ALWAYS busy!” he told me and turned to walk away
That’s when it sank… again… I am making the same mistakes my dad did. I am always finding things to keep me busy with… I am now developing 3 projects apart from paid work (well… one’s for charity, other is supposed to generate some revenue soon and the 3rd… well I have no idea where the 3rd is going to take me… I have lost my old faith… and am, a bit at the time, rediscovering a new path).
I like building things… It is always my joy to put together LEGO sets and Train Tracks for TB… It was fun putting his Trampoline up and blowing up the paddling pool. I have no problem setting up games or the computer for TB… I love tickling and playing “karate fight”.
What I found out is that I don’t have the patience to play with him. I don’t like to play.. I have no patience… my attention span is shorter than the kiddos… school rhyme songs give me headache… there I said it!
People keep telling me how good a dad I am and what great job I do with the boys and wonder how the heck I manage so well work and looking after the boys… The truth is that every time someone tells me that I feel worse!
I know I probably ask and expect to much of myself… but that is how I was raised… If I don;t give 110% of me on whatever I am doing and if I don’t get the results I am looking for (or at least close to them) I will never feel I did enough… And THAT has been a constant in my life lately.
There is always a time where we need to define priorities… And today mine is my kids.
I can’t to be a Super Dad… But I want to be the best dad I can be!
I know I can’t dedicate my whole time to them, but I also need to know that I can’t be ALWAYS busy. I need limits… and I need to know whare my limits are (I still have no idea… if you let me I’ll drive myself to the ground).
I need to focus… not in putting in practice the 200000 ideas I have every day but in executing the ones that I can actually make work. Like the ones I’ve got in my hand right now… you just wait to hear about them!!!
I can start by getting off the computer and turning off my iPhone for a couple of hours and Playing with my kids for a little while.
Maybe my Inner-child will see me trying real hard and will join me again! 
Hasta La Vista!!
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