The one I use the word orgasm – Rated R
I am a very curious person by nature and my interests virtually have no limits so don’t find yourself surprised by what I am going to talk about today. It can be summarized in one word. One word that half the times is so full of misconceptions and preconceptions that we never stop to make our own minds over it instead of following that age old descriptions
This word is KINK.
Don’t ask me how this conversation started but I’ve been talking about it with a friend for a while about it. When the conversation started I didn’t know she was an adept to a D/s (Dominanse/Submission) lifestyle.
Curious that I am I asked her if I could make a few (hundred) questions and she was so keen to answer all of them I’ve decided to transform it into a post / interview, to which she was just as happy to help me with.
Now I know some people will bet shocked and even think this is not an appropriate post to be found on a Daddy blog but I still believe it is a VERY valid topic, and if you read it to the end you will see exactly why.
If you decide not to read this post to the end… no problem… we can still be friends… no hurt feelings. But if you do please keep a mind open and you might actually find that there is something to be learned here, like COMMUNICATION… and you might even like to try one or two things in your relationship and find out it could probably be fun!
Well, ready or not… here we go!
The Setup: She is talking to her Master (or Top I learned later) and curious me doesn’t contain himself anymore and stars asking questions (the first ones are quite, well stupid really but keep reading and you will see why I did’t edit them out) :
For obvious reasons I will not identify who this friend is.
Me: How is the order of conversation between the 2 of you? He’s the one to decide everything you talk about and what order it happens?
Friend: It’s just like normal conversation.
Me: I thought you were “in character” at all times and all… 
Friend: Well, we are… It’s not like Roleplay *thinks how to explain* conversation wise its just like any other conversation. I message him good morning, he replies, maybe gives me a task for the day or something, I tell him how my days going, he tells me how his days going, etc etc
Me: I feel like a fool now…
Friend: Lol! Don’t! If you don’t know you don’t know! My friends laugh at me because I don’t understand how their Vanilla Relationships work.
Right… at this point I got confused again as to what is a Vanilla Relationship… well… A Vanilla Relationship is simply non-D/s type relationship… I feel I should have known that… so at this point I decide to stop making a fool of myself and make some useful questions.
Me: How long have you been doing that for?
Friend: I’ve been in the lifestyle since I was 15 in fact depending on what u class as being in the lifestyle u could argue I’ve always been in it . Just born this way. I’ve never had a vanilla fantasy, never wanted a vanilla relationship, I wouldn’t even know how to have one.
Me: What is your daily routine like? Do you get instructions for the day in the morning or something like that (her Top lives abroad))
Friend: At the moment? I wake up, put rubber bands on my nipples for 15 minutes, edge myself, message him good morning, then go about my normal life. He has a rule that I can’t wear panties at home but if I go out I can. Then when I get in from work I edge myself and put the bands on my nipples for 15 mins again. At night I edge myself again and write my journal.
I had no idea what “edging” oneself meant so I had to ask. The response was:
Friend: Edging is where u masturbate (or someone does it for u) but only up to the point before orgasm, so you are right on the edge.
Me: Mo basically at the moment you are not allowed to have an orgasm???
Friend: That’s not the idea, the idea is that it heightens ur sensitivity and when u do orgasm you do it harder and for longer. I had an orgasm yesterday! But they have to be earned.
Me: You said that sometimes he gives you tasks for the day. What sort of tasks are they? What do you have to do?
Friend: For the past two days I’ve had to walk home from work with no panties on. Yesterday I had to anally orgasm 6 times when I got in the door before I could do anything else.
The only word that came to my ming at this point was… ouch… so I decided to press on it a little further:
Me: Do you ever get any harder tasks for outdoors?
Friend: Bear in mind ive not been playing with him that long (2 weeks)! And aside from that, not wearing panties has always been a hard limit for me.
Me: Do you get to suggest things you would like to do?
Friend: not suggest but *thinks how to explain again* ok, in a kinky relationship there has to be A LOT of communcation, I’d go so far as to say that kinky couples are far more open than vanilla ones. people have “hard limits”(things theyd never do – ie. scat, dead things, animals) “soft limits” (things that ur uncomfortable doing – i.e. for me not wearing panties) so when u start out in a kinky relationship u have to figure out what each others limits are, as a Top he pushes my limits to get me out of my comfort zone. if I was really really scared to do something then I could ask him to alter it to make it easier or not do it at all but I’d have to have a good reason.
Me: What if he says no?
Friend: His decision is final and if I don’t do it there’d be a punishment. I haven’t done anything to warrent it yet! Although he did mention figging.
Believe me… you don’t want to know what figging is… if you do want to know, well google it. She told me that some people do it for fun of it, specially when it involves spanking too, but she is NOT one of them. She went on to explain the whole concept of punishment which will basically summarize as “if you are naughty and disobey something you don’t like must be done to you”. I thought I understood it all…
Me: Like the spanking bit we all associate with D/s then?
To what she promptly responded.
Friend: Lol! It wouldnt be a punishment if I liked it! Spanking doesn’t work as punishment for me cos I love it so I’d just do stuff to piss them off so they’d do it.
I am not going to to pretend I understand it all or that I agree with it all and there are so many variations on the lifestyle that it would take a life long to try and understand all of it.
I do admire the level of confidence one has to have in their partner to get into the whole thing and the amount of communication skills you HAVE to develop to make things work. There are many many forms of love… And to be fair… who are we to judge?
I don’t think I would ever be able to adopt it as a lifestyle but I’d seriously like to give it a “try for the kink of it”… That is, if the wife agrees on it (only problem is she might decide she want’s to be Master… that could be a problem… 
)
How about you??? Have you ever tried it??? would you ever consider it??? What are your thought on the matter???
Comments
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by urbanvox, urbanvox. urbanvox said: Ha! I've blogged The One where I use the word Orgasm – Rated R: http://bit.ly/bI3bDt Go check it out! And I so want to know what u think!!!! [...]
I think that this was a good introduction for you into a world that a lot of people don’t know about. Its not for me however!
Yeah… I have to agree with you… and if the theory is right it is not as bad as it seems… there are things to be learned… like communication and trust…
Is I said I don’t think I’d ever take it as a lifestyle… but there is potential for fun!
don’t knock it without trying… you never know… you might actually like it! LOL!
I think that was an excellent post, and with the main point being communication I find it extremely valid for your blog.
The great thing about talking to people about this stuff is it breaks down the misconceptions that surround it. I know quite a few people who dabble, or even work professionally, in these types of relationships. Myself, I think I’m submissive to a point… Because as a person I lack motivation and have very few boundaries.
Hopefully this helps people really think about it all, and kudos for you and your curiosity
Why Thanks mate…
*thinks of something intelligent to say… finds nothing*
I loved researching tat so much I am incorporating a variation of it in a series of documentaries I’m planning. just wait and see…
curious’r'us
I read it with great interest. But I don’t “get it” just like they don’t get vanilla relationships. 6 Anal orgasms! Gawd lol
Yeah… It’s like my friend said, some people are born with it… most don’t…
but you will never “get it” ti you tried it methinks… Reason why I believer there is POTENTIAL of fun to be had…
yeah… when she told me about the 6 anal orgasms my jaw fell to the floor!
lol
Fresh out of photography college back in 2001 I did a series of photographs for a BDSM couple. It was one of my only professional giigs, in the end, but it was quite amazing. I went in with no expectations and left with an education. I found the whole thing bizarre in that whereas you might expect it to be full on death metal and sadistic ‘sensual’ violence, like a tv fettish club, they were incredibly passionate and tender with each other – down to enya and candle light.
I left after about an hour, before they had sex – or as she put it in whispered tones as he (the submissive) ‘recovered’, we’ll be making love now, thank you for your services.
They loved the photos, at least. I guess getting a vanilla to do your pics is the best plan as there’s no risk of them trying to get involved!
Fresh out of photography college back in 2001 I did a series of photographs for a BDSM couple. It was one of my only professional giigs, in the end, but it was quite amazing. I went in with no expectations and left with an education. I found the whole thing bizarre in that whereas you might expect it to be full on death metal and sadistic ‘sensual’ violence, like a tv fettish club, they were incredibly passionate and tender with each other – down to enya and candle light.
I left after about an hour, before they had sex – or as she put it in whispered tones as he (the submissive) ‘recovered’, we’ll be making love now, thank you for your services.
They loved the photos, at least. I guess getting a vanilla to do your pics is the best plan as there’s no risk of them trying to get involved!
Oh wow!!!
That is an incredible experience! One of my first Professional Photography assignments was a BDSM type shoot too (The photo on of the post is part of the set). I have to say that my experience wasn’t as sweet as yours.
I did the photos for a Dominatrix and I have to admit… when we started I was a tad… am apprehensive…
As the shoot went on tho I relaxed a bit and enjoyed the experience. Tell you what tho… I wold definitely NOT like to be her slave! LOL!
There are a lot of ‘special’ people out there! Much like with icecream – you can’t be vanilla!
MrsLJHall´s last [type] ..Post from WP iPhone
Agree… pure vanilla is boring…
but if you add some hot fudge sauce you will see the difference!!!
“How about you??? Have you ever tried it??? would you ever consider it??? What are your thought on the matter???”
How about none of your business :p
I do find it fascinating and its interesting reading about it from a non kinky view definitely. Now to see how many dodgy followers you get;)
Hayley´s last [type] ..Moshi Monsters – COMPETITION
Love the way you turn that back on him.
So Urbanvox, your answer please?
Vic´s last [type] ..The Friday Fictional- Sex Red Female
Okay okay… I’l answer… but don’t forget you the one who asked for it Mistress Victoria…
hehehe
lol
ummm answers are… yes… yes… and my thoughts on the matter are on the post above…
Ooooohhhh… you never know…
so far no dodgy ones… hehehehee…
And I made it my business when I promised ya I would discover what makes ya tic! (apart from waterslides that is…. hheheheheh)
xxx
Ooooohhhh… you never know…
so far no dodgy ones… hehehehee…
And I made it my business when I promised ya I would discover what makes ya tic! (apart from waterslides that is…. hheheheheh)
x