If there is one thing I’m used to is changes… Or at least I thought so…

I’ve moved to different countries and continents and languages… I’ve changed every single fundamental thing in my life… I have addapted… and I’ve been on the move since I was a little child… I’ve always adapted to every single situation that was thrown at me…

I thought I’d take any change in my life without any problems… Hell… I am taking a divorce and starting all over again a lot better than I thought I would… To be sincere, when the thought first started to cross my mind I thought I’d be soul destroyed… And yes, to be fair I felt like a failure for a while, I felt like all I was doing was hurting everyone around me… That I was being selfish… I havent lived for myself for almost a decade, and learning to think about myself a bit is harder than I thought… But I have survived so far… And i am actually doing quite alright…

Then again I have never really been alone in any of the steps I took. I had my mother to back me up and Hales that has been with me every step of the way and some awesome friends that have been been there for me every time I needed… and boy I’ve needed them a lot…

It is so different to be on the other side. I’ve always been the one there for every one… I’ve always been the rock… To suddenly being the one in need feels so alien to me… but it feels… good…

Now I am taking another step next week and am moving out of my mother’s house once again.

I’ve rented a Bedsit closer Hales and within a 40min drive from TB and Lil’ One (which beats the hell out of the 2 hour and a 1/2 drive from Kent).

Compared to most of my moves so far is no big deal, but for me right now feels like a gigantic step and I have to admit that it actually scares me a bit. But it means I will be closer to Hales and that will give me a bit more of peace of mind and worry less about being so far with her and the Jelly Tot on his/her way. It also means I will be a lot less exhausted on the weekends where right now I can potentially spend 6 hours driving to go and see the kids on Fridays…

It will also give me the peace I need to get things done during the day… less distractions… meaning that I might be able to sleep more during the night as I’m sure I’ll get more done from 9 to 5…

I am hoping it will help me remember how it is to care more about number one… me…