2 months on and a letter to my Littlest Monkey…
Hey Monkey…
Today you are 2 months old… I wish I could be there to hold you tight and kiss your little head… To give you a big daddy bear hug and see you smile like I’ve seen that one time last time I saw you…
It’s been 1 month since the last time I held you… I can only imagine how much you have developed in all this time… It is harder and harder to get news from you… I wish me and your mum could have stayed friends if nothing for your sake… but God only knows what goes on in that mind of hers… I won’t say anything more about that… There is nothing to say honestly as she won’t even reply to any way I try to contact her trying to organize things so I can see you… So I can hold you in my arms again… spend time with you…
Tommy asks about you every time I go see him… He wants to know when he’ll be able to see his Connor again… It hurts every time he asks that because I have no idea when that will be… I wish (I hope) Alex can get to know and grow in contact with you more often… Vovoh Vera (that’s how you will call my mum if I get to teach you some portuguese) asks me almost everyday if I have news from you… It is getting hard to have to explain to her every day that I don’t… I really do wish your mum would be a little more reasonable…
I was chatting to aunty Kathia the other day… showing her your photos… Sha asked me how I’m feeling… She was worried that I didn’t get to bond with you much… less than 7 hours since you were born 2 months ago… is not much to go on… I don’t know your habits, I don’t know what makes you simile… I haven’t even ever changed one of your nappies… My answer to her was simply that I love you just as much as your brothers no matter what and her asking and making me think about it only came to confirm that…
Things are not to good today… But I promise you they will be better soon… I promised you I’d always be there…. and THAT is a promise I will do everything in my power to never break…
I dream of the day when I’ll be able to hold you again… Soon my littlest monkey… soon…
It’s hard not to keep my head over the water… hard to keep afloat and not drown… But everything will be alright…
I just need you to know one thing: DADDY LOVES YOU!
THAT will never change… I am not giving up on you my son.
Hope you can feel the big daddy bear hug I’m sending you now…
Love,
Daddy
Comments
Tough times for you – must be hard on you x
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The toughest… But I need to believe that all will end well… and in some way make it so…
Lovely letter, i hope he gets to read it when he’s older and knows you haven’t and never will give up.
sending a big hug to you, i think you need one too! x
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I do need it one… very much so… thanks babe…
I do hope he can read it when older… But I hope I can hold him tight way before that…
xxx
It must be hard when people break up and there are kids involved. Whatever you did to make her so angry with you is one thing, but it’s terrible that you’re not allowed to see your child – for you and for him. Children need their fathers as much as their mothers. I hope your ex comes to realise the damage she is inflicting on him.
I also hope you take the necessary legal steps to get access. It is dreadfully arrogant for a mother to decide that a child is not allowed to see its father – could she imagine if you had custody and refused to let her see him? I bet all hell woul;d break loose.
Good luck.
Hey Soupy,
That’s the thing… I never got to find out what I did to make her angry… it runs way deeper than that… Me having to call the police to make sure I see my son was just the last little drop of water… on both sides if I am honest here…
I really hope she realises how much she will be hurting me as well as him…
I will do everything I can to be in my son’s life… Just hope is enough. xxx
This post brought tears to my eyes. I really do hope things get easier for you, you obviously love your children very much
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Bless you *hugs* I have choice words for mothers who refuse to let fathers see their kids, but they’re not for here.
You keep fighting for him hun, we’re all behind you.
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thanks hunny… you can be sure I will…