04 Feb

One for the Useless Cupids Amongst Us

Written by UrbanVox 3 Comments

We’ve all been there – 4pm on the 13th Feb, a hot date lined up for the Valentine night and PANIC! Nothing to wear and no gift bought for your loved one… Well… I have been there… What’s with leaving things for the last minute, right?!?!?Actually… I think this is the only positive thing about being single in February… not having to worry about Valentine’s Day…Of course, no one is as “lucky” *cries a bit* as I am… So here I am with a little cheat for all of you useless cupids like me: This year, Next comes to the rescue by playing Cupid’s assistant with their Valentine’s Gift and Outfit Selector.

And the good news for the less organised amongst us… you can order before 9pm for Next Day Delivery service. If you still need more choice, you can see a further selection of dresses and shoes to make the perfect Valentine’s outfit on Next.co.uk

They do all the hard work so you can play it cool and get the cookie points for being a Good Valentine… Next did their part… now you go on and do yours…

Have fun! But don’t do anything I wouldn’t, kiddo (I know that’s not a lot… but hey)!

05 Nov

The Birds, The Bees and The Bow Cheeky Bow Wow

Written by UrbanVox 17 Comments

So… you know that dreaded moment in the life of a parent when he/she has to have that little chat with the kiddo and explain certain truths of life… Little things like “if kids come from mum’s belly how did they GET in there?”… For THAT I would be prepared… hell… I even had the discurse rehearsed in my head (I wanna be a cool daddy… so I decided I would never lie to the kiddos in things ) but NOTHING could have prepared me for what happened…

You see… The Big Monkey is quite internet savvy… So I have blocked access to a variety of websites from the one computer he has full access to while he is with me. So when he went to one of his usual sites to play online games/watch zombie animations (yeah… he likes zombies right now…) I didn’t pay much attention and went to the kitchen to get biscuits with Little Monkey leaving him to his own devices.

When I came back I noticed him laughing to what looked like a Ben 10 Character so I went to see what he was laughing about… My heart skipped a beat, my jaw fell and I was speechless for what seemed like an eternity (it was about 5 seconds… but still…) He was watching Ben 10 indeed… but the girlie was fighting a monster with 3 snake like cocks and they were… well… I don’t really need to describe the whole scene, do I?

The monkey had accidentally discovered Hentai… And he thought it was funny… Erm…

After telling him to close it (I think he kinda noticed the urgency of it when I told him because he looked kinda startled… and he shut the whole window… he never does that… he usually shuts only tabs…) I texted his mum asking her if she wanted me to wait til I delivered him tomorrow so we could all sit and have a chat or if I should just go agead and do the talk of the birds and the bees myself… Her answer was simple : You said you’d do the talks!! See, if we’d had girls instead…”

Yeah… Not a lot of help… But hey… I gave my word… I’d do the boy talks… she’d do girl talks (Shame we only had boys really… damn…).

Now… it is kinda hard to know how to start the Birds and Bees chat if no one ever had it with you… Yeah… I’ve learned with books and chats to friends… AND the World Wide Web (which was a lot smaller when I was 15). So… we had our little chat… was a lot les awkward than I thought it would be… Guess it pays to simply being open and not bullshit around with metaphors etc… Mind you… not THAT open… There is still time for that and let the child be a child, right?!!?!? I think I’ve covered the basics… I’m sure I had told him most of it before anyway (Monkey is too damn curious!!!) And I have answered most of the questions he had…and promised to answer SOME of the other ones when he is older… Then we went on to play “Fight for the Ball” Our own little version of rugby… but prison rules apply… Nothing like a little of rough and tumble to take yer mind out of awkward things, right?!

Quick question… Have you ever thought on how you will do it when yo HAVE to do it? And if you have already had that chat… how was it?!?!? I’d REALLY love to know to be honest… just to make sure I didn’t make too much of a fool out of myself… LOL!

Okay… I think I’ve rambled enough for today… just got one more thing to pick on… WHO THE HELL INVENTED THE TERM BIRDS & THE BEES?!?!?! I mean… lets analyse that… Does it make any sense?!?!? Is like, you are using a metaphor trying to not give too much info to your kid… and at the same time you are telling your child that is OK to have loads of sexual partners… I mean… is that what birds and bees have in common isn’t it?!?! The “visit loads of flowers and polinize each of them”… Bit of a conundrum, no?!?!?!

I vote for changing the name of the term from “The Birds & The Bees” for “Bow Cheeky Bow Wow”…

Who’s with me?!?!?!

01 May

Sinful Sunday…

Written by UrbanVox 3 Comments

They say the mind is the most erogenous part of the human body… I guess that might be right… but it does get quite easy on your imagination when you have a Mrs TeePot in a black corset in front of you.

I’ve uploaded a few of the photos we took last week to the UrbanVox HQ Facebook page Feel free to check them out there.

Are Women Actually Into Sex???

Written by UrbanVox 39 Comments

Right… if you are my mum or anyone that might find it weird to see me talking about sex I suggest you stop reading this post now.

Seriously! I mean it… Okay… don’t tell me I didn’t warn you first!

Sometimes I wonder if women are actually into sex at all…

Right… I suppose I better start from how I got to this conclusion so you have a chance to try and follow my train of thought.

Welcome to Sex Talk Thursdays

I was having a chat with Livy the other day and the subject kinda popped out of nowhere… no… I lie… it did come out of somewhere… I was having a moan about going on without any for a few days and she told me not to complain to her because she hasn’t had any in 7 months and wasn’t moaning about it…

Seriously??? 7 Months?????On your own accord???? HOW????? And more to the point WHY????

Her response to that was “simple”

lol, meh, sex doesn’t do it for me! I’m all about the kink and I’m getting that! it doesn’t actually occur to me to have sex/masturbate at all

And it’s not just her…

I’ve been married for 7 years and my ex could go on without any for huge periods of time (even with my constant “moaning”)…

My girlfriend told me that before she met me she went on for 18 months of her single life without even noticing she hasn’t had any… It gets worse but if I say too much she’ll just kick me on the balls…

Do all women feel the same way??? Are men and women really so different???

People… Sex is not just great and awesome and all that (with the right person and right circumstances it has to be said) but it is also good for your health for reasons such as:

A UK study which looked at the relationship between having frequent orgasms (two or more per week) and mortality in men. At a ten year follow up the researcher found that men who had frequent orgasms had a significantly lower risk of death than men who did not have frequent orgasms.
Several studies have hypothesized that hormones released during arousal and orgasm, specifically oxytocin and DHEA, may also have protective effects against cancer and heart disease.
Research has also pointed to the sedative and relaxing effect of oxytocin and other endorphins released during orgasm, which may explain why people use masturbation as a way to get to sleep (right… I didn’t know that one but hey…), and why sex is a great way to deal with stress. (that one I did know… )
There have been two studies which have found a connection between men who ejaculate regularly and a reduced incidence of prostate cancer.
While orgasms can for some people trigger migraine headaches, at least one study has also found that orgasms can relieve migraine headaches.
Regularly reaching climax can help reduce stress by the release of “feel good” hormones called endorphins which relax the parts of the brain that cause fear and anxiety.
Orgasms help lose weight by releasing phenetylamine (a chemical that is known to curb appetite) and seratonin, which has a calming effect on cravings for junk food.
They can reverse aging by increasing the level of DHEA (dehydroepiandrosterone) in the body which is known to improve brain function, fat metabolism, the immune system, and the cardiovascular system, as well as promote healthy skin.

Orgasms have been linked to boosting the immune system. Those who engage in regular sexual activity have been found to have one third higher levels of immunoglobin A, an antibody that assists the immune system in fighting infection such as colds and the flu

It’s also worth pointing out that orgasm and sex play in general can be a wonderful form of exercise. Frequent sex and orgasms can bring with it the benefit of other good cardio workouts.

So PLEASE do tell me… WHY are most women so averse to sex???

Or even ARE really women THAT averse to sex???

I NEED to know that because you chicks confuse me A LOT sometimes and it can be sooooo frustrating… And I am sure I’m not the only bloke that thinks like that…

Speak your mind women… PLEASE tell us… Are you REALLY into sex?

*Image from Getty

29 Aug

The one I use the word orgasm – Rated R

Written by UrbanVox 17 Comments

I am a very curious person by nature and my interests virtually have no limits so don’t find yourself surprised by what I am going to talk about today. It can be summarized in one word. One word that half the times is so full of misconceptions and preconceptions that we never stop to make our own minds over it instead of following that age old descriptions

This word is KINK.