Posts Tagged ‘baby’

Vic in her 1st ever Vlog post starting with a bang for the Just Vlog It Challenge in the subject How To… STRIP! 0_o

Gotcha!

8am and the newest addition to the family makes his first trip downstairs to hang out with his big bro a bit… Who then decides he wants to take photos from mummy, daddy and Lumpy.

Cut the 2 of them uh???

Welcome to the World Mr. Alexander Lucas Pires

zya!

To the untrained eye, I might seem like a seasoned dad that actually knows what he’s talking about when the subject is parenthood. THAT cannot be further to the truth…

I mean I wish I was… and God knows I’ve been trying to be Super Dad for the past 5 years!!!

Before the TB was born I didn’t even have patience enough to be around kids for long… That’s one thing parenthood can teach you if you let it… PATIENCE.

Sometimes the “learn on the flight” approach can be far from perfect… and THAT is the main reason why I didn’t complain when Vic TOLD me we were doing pre-natal classes… I mean… what’s the worse that can happen… Right???

In class one we only got to talk about expectations and got to know each other (the other parents-to-be that are doing the same course at the Lavander Child Center)… Fair enough… One expects that intro class to BE boring… but the Midwife giving the course was able to take it to another level of boredness (is that a word???)….

Class Two:

And now comes the interesting bits as we would talk about drugs and other fun stuff (Nope… I am not condoning recreative use of narcotics…) so a NERD that I am I’ve decided to take notes!! Good boy right???? hehehe not exactly…

The notes were kinda like that:

1) Not to self: I forgot the name of the Midwife, but for purposes of Identification refer to “blob”

2) why does she have to use the word “yeah” after every 2 sentences???

3) “I want all to participate, ask questions, yeah? If I am the only one talking talking talking talking things might get a bit boring” Really?? I thought they could NOT get any more boring… Please let me outta here!!

Then she started to tell us about the instruments that would or could be used during labour…

NOW THAT IS THE FUN BIT!!!

Until then I was trying really hard not to fall asleep until she mentioned that they might use an instrument that worked a bit like a plunger to pull the baby out… My over active imagination decided to kick in at that precise moment and the film playing in my head showed “blob” using a plunger to try and suck Lumpy out of Vic… I could not hold myself and started laughing… I think she noticed and cough up with what I was thinking because she took one out of her bag and passed it around showing that it didn’t look like the sort we use to unclog sinks and toilets…  That made me feel a bit better… the thing didn;t have enough sucking capacity to stay glued to my forehead for long and as so it outdated it’s fun potential…

The next cool gadget she showed us was a pain relief thing that uses electric shocks to neutralize birth pain. I thought it was quite a funky little thing and even thought about getting one of those to try and sort my back pain… (I had actually seen one of those in a documentary about forms to combat back pain once… yup… I watch the health channel when I am at the surgerywaiting to be seen… ).

I was curious to know how high could be the current and all… it showed possibility… Of all the dad-and-mums-to-be in there I was the only one that was able to turn the thing on… Too bad it didn’t have enough battery so I could test drive it… It would have been fun…

The next 30 minutes of the class were filled with a video about water birth.

I can only describe it as “Birth Pool Porn”!!!

Not by the fact that person giving birth was naked and showing everything in every possible angle inside the pool accompanied by her naked older daughter… but by the noises she was making… They sounded a LOT MORE like orgasms than like a woman experiencing labour pain… hehehe… Seriously… you can ask Vic about that!!! She’ll confirm what I’m saying…

And I wasn’t the only one that started laughing my ass when someone gave the poor woman a snorkel and she started waving her ass in the air whilst submerging her head in the pool…

I know… I know… I am terrible… Incorrigible and all that… but I have a short attention span… What can I say… hehehe…

Next week we are learning Relaxation and Respiration Technics…

I am sooo looking forward to it!

zya!!!

Aparently we are playin What’s The Sex (of the baby).

The Wife has put forward a challange and (providing you live within 10 miles of London or would dislocate yourself all the way over here if further away) I am going to up the stakes.

That’s the plan: Boy or Girl, what do you think Lumpy will be?!?! Comment to this post (and at GlowStars )with your opinion telling why you think it will be a boy or girl. From the right answers we will choose one person to receive a 30min photography portrait session with the 5 best picktures of the bunch retouched and ready (in JPG files) for you to print as many copys as you want.

You choose the style, and I won’t even bother to limit the amount of people in it. So… if it is just you, or you and your other half or your kiddo, or your whole family, just name it… you can haz it.  :)

Sounds like a plan?!?!?!

Simple enough isn’t it????

So what you waiting??? get commenting!!!!

zya!

Quick Edit: Aparently I will be going further than 10 miles to do the PhotoShoot… The Wife Wills it… ummm