Posts Tagged ‘HUB’

Once upon a time I dreamed of a place where dreams came true. Not by the sheer power of wishful thinking or by any means of magic, but by the combined strength and dedication of a few very creative minds.

I dreamed of a place where people could meet up to talk about all and nothing, a place where like minded people could plot and put projects on the road: films, theatre, photography, you name it. A HUB where creative people could meet. A place where people would also learn new skills… New ways to be creative.

I wanted this place to be a hub for these like-minded people. It was once an Underground Hub, and then it became the Metanoia Café some place else.

When I envisioned the Metanoia Cafe that is what I had in mind: A place where people would get together for some coffee and bring about some “transformation of the mind”. Freedom of expression would be common place.

But that was in a perfect world that existed only in my mind. Reality as it seems had other plans..

This dream is now shattered into pieces. There were 200 million reasons and blames to be placed: The venue and it’s administration’s fail to attract people to the complex (or even their willingness to doing such thing, as they constantly blamed the shop keepers for not doing enough… pardon me… that was their job… we did our part to try and raise awareness to ourselves… Unfortunately not a lot of people knew where or what was the Merton Abbey Mills as we found out later), The stall vendors taking away our target public offering the same things we were selling  (I blame that on the Abbey Mills admin as well…), I could blame the changes we HAD to go through to continue open as partnerships had to be broken because of the financial crisis… Ah! I could blame the crisis!!!

That would also mean I would have to blame myself for choosing the venue in the first place. I would also have to blame myself for veering out of the plan that was traced in the beginning, and for not being able to adapt accordingly… for failing in finding time to take forward the meet ups and other projects we had… For failing to motivate myself and allow for depression to set in.

At some point my dream became a burden.

Now as I stand here at the doors of the Metanoia Café feeling my heart all tight and hurting I know it is not over… but just beginning.

I always try to look in the bright side of things. To find something positive in the midst of the negative. Cause and effect. I am struggling to find my footing in that one.

I know what I want to do with my newfound freedom. I know where I want to get with it… I just have no idea how I’m going to get there… Or even how to give my first steps… again…

My family is about to grow again… and with the arrival of the new baby my responsibilities also grow. I know it is a short deadline, but I have 2 months to make things happen… to at least give us some breathing space.

I am not going to lie to you… I am scarred.

My self-confidence and self-worth took a bit bashing in the past couple of months… I am also trying to take strength from where I don’t have it… I am running on fumes… But somehow I know I’ll get there in the end…

I am not one to give up…

I’ll start again… from the begining… and this time try and not to comit to the same mistakes again… I am only human and prone to mistakes… continually insisting in the same mistakes is being stupid!

Well… stay tuned here for the next instalment of the soap opera that it is my life…

1am… gotta go bed!

zya!!!

TB woke up today with a one tracked mind: He was to spend the whole day in his firefighter costume.

He finished his second breakfast (don’t ask…) and found a basket at his Toy-room (the conservatory) full of his costumes and whilst rampaging through them he found both the Spiderman and Firefighter costumes (no interest in the Peter Pan one today).

After 2 minutes he decided what he wanted to wear (it took me other 15 to convince him to wear some other piece of clothing underneath) and he became Mr. firefighter.

“Daddy, firefighters go everywhere by car, so you need some lights in the car so we can go to the hub (The Metanoia Cafe)”

IT is just a 5 minute walk from home so I convinced him that firefighters do loads of healthy stuff like walking… plus sometimes they can’t get through traffic on their cars so they take their firefighter scooters. That was enough to convince him.

After a very cool scooting around + arty craft making and PSP playing and generally being bored day, at about 3 pm we were VERY bored I decided to close up shop a lil earlier and go home.

Well, that’s not the only reason why we closed up shop earlier. I have received the news that some big Photography company is about to open a studio at the Mills, which infuriated me profoundly. That and the whole Bulshit Telecom Broadband problem (engineers coming to fix it tomorrow apparently) were enough reasons for me go home and do something about the piles of work on the Metanoia Website and advertisement I have to finish… the day was being VERY slow anyways…

And that was enough (after talking to a photographer interested in renting the studio and to Kathia yesterday) to accelerate my plans to make photography a weekday fulltime thing to dedicate to photography again. Just taking a different approach this time offering the courses I had already planned to offer at the HUB.

What saved the day was the idea of taking advantage of TB’s firefighter cuteness… hehehehe

Before coming home we took some time to take some pictures to properly test the studio capabilities…

We had loads of fun… and I kinda liked the photos! TB is a natural in front of the camera.

If you wanna take a look at the photos, click at the image bellow:

TB the Firefighter (or firestarter?)

You can also watch the Animoto Video of the TB’s phototshoot right down here.

Hope you liked it!

And if you want some like that taken of ya gi’me a shout… I can both set an appontment at the Upper Room Studio for ya or I can go to you to do the photos. I have a portable Kit that I can take to wherever you are…

Anyways…

zya!

I am just about to have a very well deserved time off…

2 days to be precise. 2 days away from London and my crazy life here… Yes, I will be terribly, horribly worried about leaving mum to look after the cafe on her own (well Chris will be here as well but hey… )… 

PArt of mee really wansts to stay and make sure everything runs smoothly… Part of me just wants to see how things will be running really… part of me wants to be in charge… But really… all these parts need that brake. Because all these parts are exhausted to a breaking point…

And there is the part of me that I have been neglecting for the past couple of months…  that part needs urgent attention: My Family.

So yeap… to make sure I don’t end up going to the cafe we’re getting out of London for the next 2 days.

First we’re going to Vic’s mum’s in Hants… which is good cuz that menas having rosted Turkey and Gavy!!!

Then on Monday we’re heading up to Birmingham to see nan Gerda, wich means I will be back to London with a couple of extra Kilos on my conscience as I will be fed anough to keep a small army for a whole week.

Sounds great, doesm’t it???

The why am I so uneasy???

The world will not end because I am not in charge (or so I keep trying to convince myself) !!

And yeah! I need this brake! Otherwhise I’ll end up in a hospital again (loke last time when they forbid me to have my mobile, laptop etc etc etc… and THAT will be even worse, won’t it???

See?? Now you have it!!!

I think I might still need convincing…

Oh well… Never mind… Will keep in touch anyways… Keep an eye on my twits!

zya!

OK… I should probably keep myself busier more often…

I definitely should NOT stay idle for more than 15 seconds…

Why???? Simple… if I do I start thinking… and that, taking in consideration the latest events, could be quite dangerous in fact…

Want an example? OK… today I started wondering what would have happened if instead of opening the Metanoia Cafe I had opened the CWI hub in one of the smaller units at the Merton Abbey Mills… a studio, a few computers and work stations were all I would have needed… That would be more than enough for me to dedicate time for the courses, web-design  and photography/film making… Paying a rent that would be a fraction of what I pay today and I would have not invested all the money I invested in building the second floor at the cafe… meaning we would still have all that cash in the company’s account…

And I would definitely be A LOT LESS STRESSED!!!!

No, I have not repented to open the Metanoia Cafe… I am just… well… wondering how great it would be to not work all weekend long and having to worry about re-supplying the cafe with food every week… and I wouldn’t spend all the time feeling bad because I am not dedicating time to do what I was actually meant to do: dedicate time to photography, design and film-making which, let’s face it was what I intended in the first place…

I am not complaining… just that the cafe was supposed to be a secondary tool to provide funds to get the rest of the business running… and instead it is taking my whole time not letting me dedicate to the rest of the business…

I know that second-guessing decisions I took 2 months won’t help in anything… but… I don’t know… I think I am frustrated that I can’t spend time photographing etc…

I am looking for a partner on the cafe… someone that would help with the running with the business so I can actually get out there and GET the business happening… Got someone in mind, but we haven’t really concertized anything yet…

Anyone interested in buying 25% of the shares???

(I never spoke more seriously….)

People coming in… Gotta go…

zya!

Apart from the first day we opened the Meta Noia Cafe today mist be the day we had most moviment round here…

Does it have something to do with mother not being around giving orders and switching thing’s places and getting all desperated because this or that didn’t work as planed? Is it the fact that we’re getting more and more known round here (mind you, we still didn’t do any advertising per se… so horray!)??

We had a sunny day and with he sun out there my mood was also a lot brighter.

Hey even my 3G connection behaved a lot better! I didn’t get one disconnection all day! (yay) ah… BTW… BT will connect our internet hub on the 9th so we gonna go have proper internet here yayyyy!!!

I think I missed the sun… I might be tired of cloudy and gloomy days… No wonder the index of depressed people in the UK is so high….

I don’t know what it was so different today… but I like it! It inspires me… I feel a bit more like myself… I feel creative, and THAT is a hell of a huge difference from the past few weeks… months even… Not 100% yet, but it feels good to be me again!

Got a day off tomorrow… Whe do you do in one of those?? I kinda almost forgot what it was to have one… What do you do on those? lol

Anyways… customers at the door. and Vic is busy with mahjongg… so here I go… lol

Hey… come check the metanoia cafe!!!

zya!