I don't hate Mondays... they hate me!

… They hate me!!

OK… it might be case of reciprocity… but that is beside the point!

And don’t you come with all that crap about the universe will treat you the same way you will treat it, and think positive and Carpe Diem (or crappy diem as I call Mondays)!!

The worst thing is… It wasn’t always like that. Once upon a time me and Monday were best friends! I couldn’t wait to see Monday arrive and in return Monday would make me sooo very happy! What happened to the old me? IS that all that’t left? A Grumpy Old Man?

Once upon a time I used to be shames less in love with what I did all day… Today… Today I have no idea what it is that I do all day… apart from feeling uninspired that is… specially on Mondays when the dreadful prospect of a whole new week finally hits home! It is not that I don’t know what I would like to be doing… it is just that I’ve started something (even not being what I signed up for) and I have this AWFUL problem… I can’t admit defeat… Even tho what I am doing is not what I was set out to do… I just can’t

So what do I do??

I was not born to be a pastor… I don’t have what it takes to lead a church… I don’t mind talking to people, teaching and motivating them as long as I don’t have to permanently lead them. The skills are there… but the passion isn’t. Have you ever done anything without passion? It doesn’t matter how you approach it, it somehow sounds wrong… makes you think “what the hell am I doing here???”. Am I wrong?

I have nothing of what it is required from a pastor… I am not patient enough with people. I am a fire-starter… not the guy that nurtures it so it burns all night… I HATE religion (or religiosity) and I hate tradition! (sorry mum… I do hate tradition and ceremonies etc and I believe I have told you that before… I know you don;t read my blog… but out of respect… sorry… : ) )

I want to go back to plan A… you think it would still be possible??? I SOOOOSOO SOOOOO hope so!

Crap… when I started writing this post it was intended to be funny! Somehow my funny bone has disappeared along the paragraphs!

anyways… gotta run… stuff to do…

zya!!!!!