Posts Tagged ‘ranting’

17 Oct

Living Up to Expectations…

Written by UrbanVox 4 Comments

I have a confession to make… I am 31 years old and I still have no idea what I want to do when I grow up…

No, wait… that’s not right… I do know… And I know I can do it… I have all the sets of skills… and the knowhow to make it happen… I am good at it… Or so I’ve been told… quite a few times actually… And I quite often get paid to do it so that should be more than enough proof of that, right? RIGHT???

I am usually my biggest critic… So save from very few people, critics come not just easy on me, but are often encouraged… I believe in improving… Always.

But for some reason that I can’t fathom, the opinions of me and what I do carry a huge weight on me when they come from this very small group of people that comprises of my family and a few other VIP in my life. Their encouragement is usually all I need to climb the highest of mountains… And it usually works for a while… Until I figure that what I am doing I am doing for all the wrong reasons…

Sounds bad… but is the truth… I was talking about that to a friend today  and she is the one that called my attention to that… that made me think about it and as much as I hate to admit it my track record really shows that I am always trying to please others and up abandoning things that are important to me, forgetting about what I LOVE and what I am GOOD AT to meet with someone else’s expectations…  something that I can only bring myself to do for so long… Which is where I tend to jump into another train in search for myself.

My whole career has been like that… My whole life…

Does it make any sense?!?!?!!?  No??? Yeah… I didn’t think so either…

My sister was mad at me earlier today because she says she wishes I had de ease to grasp things like I do and I instead waste the chances just like that… She went on ranting with my mother on how I was accepted in X amount of universities and dropped out of Y number of courses and how I waste  my potential in doing things that are beneath my capacity and how I should do this or that which then fuelled my mother’s rage at an argument we had today about me going back to studying and me opposing to it because I have other priorities and have no time or place of mind to going back to it… Yeah… things were kinda ugly, specially when I decided there was no point on hearing to any of it anymore…

Doesn’t what I consider a priority for me right now make any sort of difference?

The fact is that sometimes is hell in my head… I have ideas and random thoughts flowing in my head all the time… And I have a hard time coping with those most of the time, let alone trying to accomodate everyone else’s thoughts of what and how I should be doing things… I’ve tried that… it doesn’t work… Plus I am stubborn…

Doing “the right thing” isn’t always right…

I know they mean it with all the good intentions and that they really want to help… Most of the ideas and suggestions are good in principle… but they distract me from what I need to focus on… And believe me… distracting me is not that hard a thing… I think it is time I focus on doing MY THING without having to accomodate all other ideas into it as well… I’ve tried that… it doesn’t work… If I don’t have my heart on something it will eventually lose my interest…

I need to try to do my thing without adding up to it to satisfy other people… Just this once…

And if that means I need to learn to say NO every now and then then so be it… I am awful at saying no… But is time to stop feeling stuck in the middle…

Things aren’t rally going RIGHT so far… so I thing I’ll try and go LEFT. 

Let you know how THAT goes as it goes… ;-)

EDIT: A valid point was raised… if any of my sons ever decided to drop out of uni to pursue his dream/follow the path he thinks he needs to follow if I’d support and encourage him… well… I didn’t have to think about that much… yeah… I would!!!! And if that didn’t work for him I’d be there for him… I try to raise them to think for themselves… what sort of example would I give if I tried to stir their lives for them?!?!? Sure, until they are old enough to take their own decisions I am more than happy to stir the boat… but even I know when to let go and let them swim on their own… this is life… we raise our kids for the world… not for ourselves! Rant Over

30 Jun

Why am I not sympathetic with drunk people??!?!?!

Written by UrbanVox 2 Comments

The answer is REALLY simple…

They have asked for and some times deserve anything that comes their way. And let’s convene… does anything good ever comes drunk people’s way?

I am otherwise sympathetic with victims of drunk people… like the poor guy that got run over by a drunk driver, or the boy that got knifed by a drunk “gangsta”… even the girl that got pucked on whilst trying to help her blindly drunk friend trying to get to the loo.

OK, binge-drinking makes you “happy”, makes you lose the inhibition, gets you laid of whatever… but don’t forget there is always the day after, when you find out about the photos of you posted on the internet, or of the things that you did or were done to you (worse are the ones that you never find out but every one else knows), or things that you have said, or places you have ended up that you don’t remember… If you like to make a fool of yourself then it actually sounds GREAT doesn’t it? That is… If you like to make a fool out of yourself…

Am I sympathetic towards the girl that was raped BECAUSE she was so drunk she couldn’t do anything about it? Or the guy that found out he was mugged when he woke up sleeping in the curb somewhere in town? Or even the other person that ended up in prison , or worse…got hospitalized because was driving drunk and ran over someone or e totaled the car (or both)? What about the idiot that fell from the scaffolding or fell in the train tracks because his/her sense of danger and/or of balance has got so screwed up that it was unavoidable? Simple answer… nope!

Don’t take me wrong, it is not that I don’t care enough about people or that I would not like to do something to change that. On the contrary, it is because I care that my council is always: Put it in a balance, pros and cons… what weighs more? What’s worth doing? If you say getting drunk, then my friend… you seriously need to review your concepts of good and bad… Pity…

Nope I am not Square… I have done my just share of stupid things in my life, including there some things that most people would do only if drunk, and I did them sober. Some of them I am ashamed of, others I am proud of, most of them I couldn’t care less.

And nope… I am not some fanatic religious that says that drinking is a “sin” or “you’re going to hell because you are a drunkard(do people still use this word???) lol”! On the contrary, 1 – I like to drink a glass of whine or 2 once in a while, and I love Caipirinhas and Margaritas… Difference is, you will not find me drunk on it -Sometimes a bit lightheaded but not drunk. I know my limits. And I know enough about myself to be sober when I push them. 2 – I don’t really believe people will go to hell… Check the bible closer and you will find out that hell is reserved to Satan (the adversary) and his angels (demons). What happens to the “wicked”? Well, It is my opinion that they simply won’t wake up… From dust you came, to dust you will go back… The bible talks about eternal punishment, not eternal punishing like most believe… what worst punishment than simply ceasing to exist?

Now why am I going in a rant on that?!?!?! No idea… :) it simply popped in my head while I was trying to concentrate (and did not succeed for my despair) in getting some work done.

Call it a public service announcement… call it being bored… don’t mind… if it is good for you, keep it, if it doesn’t make sense, read it again, if it is no good and I am not gonna change your mind, well… Ive done my job… but remember me next time you make a fool out of yourself… ;)

zya!

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