Crap!
I have come to a sudden realization…
I have had the knife and the butter in my hand for longer than I thought…
… And what have I done with my life???? What happened to that got-get-it guy that had that huge prospect for success… that knew how to maximize potential… The one that knew how to take money out of thin air?
Why is it that I can make rivers of money to other people but make only enough when am flying solo???
I have devised a (yet another) Masterplan… well it is one that currently goes with what I live at the moment… it is an adaptation to the grand original… It will not make us rich but it will open doors… Not that I really want to be rich… I have had money in my life… and it didn’t do me any good… didn’t do bad… but definitely no good came from it…
The plan is plausible… it is not a novelty but it proved to work once and again… Then why am I so afraid!!!! I’ve got all the technicalities covered… got all the background checked… it is doable… flight worthy… why am I afraid to take off? Is it that I am afraid of falling on my face again????
I’ve been rethinking my life… I hate the fact that I have had time to do it… Some things need to change… and I have set time and date for this change to happen! I think it is time to STOP thinking of others and thinking about myself a bit… What good does it make to spend a life trying to help people that doesn’t want to help themselves??? Is it an utopia to think that you can get people together to make a difference?
Once upon a time I thought I could do it… today… I have my doubts…
Sorry for throwing that at you like that… I needed to take it of the chest… I’ll probably still be stubborn and keep trailing the hopeless steps… but I’ll do it in a more balanced scale… I have seen first hand that devoting full time to a dream (specially when the dream depends on too many people transforming the way they think) can be a toll too hard to pay… and the cost might end up being my sanity…
I still haven’t found what I’m looking for… And I surely haven’t seen the end of it.
But I’ll sure let u know when I do…
This post didn’t end up telling what I wanted to say (at all!!)… and it sure came a LOT more straight from the heart than I intended… but in the near future (when things are finally taking off) I’ll make the announcement I was meant to make today!I’ve come to this realization somewhere between the first word and the middle of the post! 
I’ve got to define some things before I do it…
but stay tunned as I promise I’ll blog the whole journey!!!
zya!
